so far, so good

sorry for not posting anything in the last few days. i haven't been taking to my best friend's death very well and i'm still in disbelief. i still think that jess is going to call me any time now and ask me how i'm doing. what upsets me most is that i didn't get to share finally reaching remission with her. but i guess she's watching over me, wherever she may be.

tomorrow i will be having surgery to finally remove my metaport. jess had one too which is what led to so many complications to her health recently. when i started to feel strange pains in the area of my metaport, i would tell jess that they were sympathy pains because her port had gotten infected which is why she was in and out of the hospital so much in the past few months. i can't wait to get my metaport out. not only do i still feel strange pain there sometimes, but it always reminds me of jess.

and for those of you who have no idea what a metaport looks like from the outside, here are some pics of mine (it's the weird round lumpy thing on the left side of my chest) -