radiation graduation

i graduated! again! this time from radiation. i even have a certificate to prove it (really! the staff at Nassau Radiologic Group gave me one). by the way, NRAD ROCKS!!! thank you melanie and tom for being such awesome radiation technicians and always putting a smile one my face every time i came in. don't take this personally, but i hope i never have to see you guys again! i just don't want to have radiation ever again! but if i do, i actually do hope i get to see you two and dr. pollack who has been MIA for the past 2 days (at least whenever i'm there).

and just to let you all know, i unfortunately have not gained any super powers, and luckily no extra limbs. i also have yet to show you the radiation machine that i got treatment from every day for the past 4-5 weeks, but i still can't find the damn cable i need to connect my camera to my mac. i wish my camera had bluewire...

by the way, celebration to come soon.

something that rhymes with remission...

i feel completely off center today. it all started after i woke up from a strange dream where i got a phone call from my best friend jess who recently passed away. she was talking to me about how someone's pet something, named fang, was still alive. but the strangest thing about the dream wasn't about fang, it was that she thought my name was roberta or maybe that she was speaking to someone named roberta. i don't even know anyone named roberta. but maybe jess does and that she's trying to give me a sign from beyond to give to roberta??? at least she sounded happy when she was talking to me and that in turn made me a little bit happy too.

maybe what ruined my day was hearing jess's voice in my head and realizing that i will never truly hear it again . every so often i get those days when i feel completely defeated, and i guess this is just one of those days.

it is another day of feeling like i've accomplished nothing. i'm sure at this point that this blog is not sounding very inspiring to those who have cancer, but the truth is, there will always be ups and downs and it's totally ok sometimes to be down.

i just got through my 13th treatment today. luck 13! and if you have all been counting as impatiently as i have, that means i only have 5 more left. FIVE!!! and if you haven't already figured out, this also means that i will be in remission by next week! at least i hope i will be. i have to get the thumbs up from my docs first.

i hope on celebrating...not sure when, but as soon as i find out i am in remission. it was decided by me and my friend stephanie that the name of this celebration should rhyme with remission, but so far the only word that we both considered cool was "ignition." but remission ignition, nor ignition remission really makes any sense. so if anyone knows a really cool word that rhymes with remission that would be a good name for my celebration, please leave me a comment.

oh and if you're have trouble leaving me a comment, e-mail me at fay.serafica (at) gmail.com. i hope you all know that the (at) means to put @.

snoozin and losin

today was my first day of radiation therapy and i'm already feeling the side effects. i feel absolutely lethargic right now and could probably fall asleep before i finish writing this sent...zzzz....

ok ok, i'm still awake, but not by much.

this morning was pretty crazy. i got around 10 phone calls before noon all from nurses and doctors explaining to me what the rest of my week will be looking like and confirming my gazillion appointments. not only do i have radiation every day this week, but i'm finally getting my metaport out on thursday. woot!

but blah blah blah about my morning. i should be talking about my radiation experience. so what was it like? well, i had to go through the whole lying on my back with my arms raised flat behind my head and my bare chest hanging out for all the male technicians to see again in a cold, cold room. then there's the crazy radiation machine that hovers and moves in semicircles around me shooting its invisible rays. i also got some weird taste in the back of my throat...can't really describe what it's like except that it's similar to the metallic taste you get in your mouth when you get injected with radioactive isotopes for a catscan. the whole process actually takes only 7-10 minutes and it really does feel that short. i was up and out in no time but a whole lot weaker and slightly dizzy.

i'd write more, but i'm seriously about to snooze out this time. zzzz....