i graduated! again! this time from radiation. i even have a certificate to prove it (really! the staff at Nassau Radiologic Group gave me one). by the way, NRAD ROCKS!!! thank you melanie and tom for being such awesome radiation technicians and always putting a smile one my face every time i came in. don't take this personally, but i hope i never have to see you guys again! i just don't want to have radiation ever again! but if i do, i actually do hope i get to see you two and dr. pollack who has been MIA for the past 2 days (at least whenever i'm there).
and just to let you all know, i unfortunately have not gained any super powers, and luckily no extra limbs. i also have yet to show you the radiation machine that i got treatment from every day for the past 4-5 weeks, but i still can't find the damn cable i need to connect my camera to my mac. i wish my camera had bluewire...
by the way, celebration to come soon.
Showing posts with label radiation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label radiation. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Tuesday, February 17, 2009
something that rhymes with remission...
i feel completely off center today. it all started after i woke up from a strange dream where i got a phone call from my best friend jess who recently passed away. she was talking to me about how someone's pet something, named fang, was still alive. but the strangest thing about the dream wasn't about fang, it was that she thought my name was roberta or maybe that she was speaking to someone named roberta. i don't even know anyone named roberta. but maybe jess does and that she's trying to give me a sign from beyond to give to roberta??? at least she sounded happy when she was talking to me and that in turn made me a little bit happy too.
maybe what ruined my day was hearing jess's voice in my head and realizing that i will never truly hear it again . every so often i get those days when i feel completely defeated, and i guess this is just one of those days.
it is another day of feeling like i've accomplished nothing. i'm sure at this point that this blog is not sounding very inspiring to those who have cancer, but the truth is, there will always be ups and downs and it's totally ok sometimes to be down.
i just got through my 13th treatment today. luck 13! and if you have all been counting as impatiently as i have, that means i only have 5 more left. FIVE!!! and if you haven't already figured out, this also means that i will be in remission by next week! at least i hope i will be. i have to get the thumbs up from my docs first.
i hope on celebrating...not sure when, but as soon as i find out i am in remission. it was decided by me and my friend stephanie that the name of this celebration should rhyme with remission, but so far the only word that we both considered cool was "ignition." but remission ignition, nor ignition remission really makes any sense. so if anyone knows a really cool word that rhymes with remission that would be a good name for my celebration, please leave me a comment.
oh and if you're have trouble leaving me a comment, e-mail me at fay.serafica (at) gmail.com. i hope you all know that the (at) means to put @.
maybe what ruined my day was hearing jess's voice in my head and realizing that i will never truly hear it again . every so often i get those days when i feel completely defeated, and i guess this is just one of those days.
it is another day of feeling like i've accomplished nothing. i'm sure at this point that this blog is not sounding very inspiring to those who have cancer, but the truth is, there will always be ups and downs and it's totally ok sometimes to be down.
i just got through my 13th treatment today. luck 13! and if you have all been counting as impatiently as i have, that means i only have 5 more left. FIVE!!! and if you haven't already figured out, this also means that i will be in remission by next week! at least i hope i will be. i have to get the thumbs up from my docs first.
i hope on celebrating...not sure when, but as soon as i find out i am in remission. it was decided by me and my friend stephanie that the name of this celebration should rhyme with remission, but so far the only word that we both considered cool was "ignition." but remission ignition, nor ignition remission really makes any sense. so if anyone knows a really cool word that rhymes with remission that would be a good name for my celebration, please leave me a comment.
oh and if you're have trouble leaving me a comment, e-mail me at fay.serafica (at) gmail.com. i hope you all know that the (at) means to put @.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
farewell my metaport
my metaport is finally gone! woooo!!! at first i welcomed having one, but now i'm glad that it's finally out of my body. i probably wouldn't have minded keeping it a bit longer if it wasn't giving me strange sharp pains every so often.
i want to write more, but i feel pretty nauseous from post-surgery pain meds...
so here's an old post from my facebook notes -
so it seems i will be stuck at north shore for quite a bit longer. tomorrow i will have to have what doctors call the "chamberlain procedure." basically they're gonna slice me open in my chest (unfortunately in my tattoo area) and try to remove better tissue samples.
it turns out that harvard came up with the same results in one day that it took north shore's pathology department a week to figure out - that the tissue samples from my biopsy were not enough to properly diagnose me. so i'm back to square one with not knowing whether i have hodgkins or not.
sooooooo....i dunno....i think my brain got fried after my last fever this afternoon.....
i want to write more, but i feel pretty nauseous from post-surgery pain meds...
so here's an old post from my facebook notes -
a new scar
it turns out that harvard came up with the same results in one day that it took north shore's pathology department a week to figure out - that the tissue samples from my biopsy were not enough to properly diagnose me. so i'm back to square one with not knowing whether i have hodgkins or not.
sooooooo....i dunno....i think my brain got fried after my last fever this afternoon.....
Saturday, January 24, 2009
bananas
yesterday was a pretty crazy day which is why i didn't get to post anything. first off i had 2 doctors appointments. one at 9am in which i waited 3 hours to get my metaport checked out. second, i decided to go out later that night and had an interesting time. but before i get to that, let me start off with the metaport problem.
i've been experiencing strange sharp and stabbing pains in my metaport area and just wanted to make sure i didn't have an infection or something. it turns out i might have busted one of the sutures from the surgery and my doc told me that i just need to wait the pain out. it doesn't hurt so bad now, but i'm still afraid of moving my left arm the wrong way which is what caused the pain the first place.
i also saw my radiation oncologist at 1pm so they could once again take films of my chest before they start radiation on me next week. it's a pretty embarrassing procedure which makes me believe that radiation will be too. basically i lie down flat on my back with my arms raised flat backwards and my hospital gown opened from the waist up with my bare chest exposed. it makes me feel really vulnerable and slightly uncomfortable especially when there is a male technician around. i realized though this is what women with breast cancer must go through as well. at least i'll only have to be in that weird position for 15 minutes long compared to sitting in a chair for 5 hours getting chemo.
so the second part of my story begins with me trying to enjoy myself a little before i'm once again knocked out by radiation. i'm staying in brooklyn just for the weekend cause queens is making me seriuosly depressed. i went out to the winkel and balktick's cotillion event at the glasslands which was pretty friggin awesome. it was my first time at the space and i really enjoyed the setup. i met some really awesome people too (finally! i've been super socially awkward lately, but slowly getting over it). but when meeting knew people there always comes a lot of issues especially when it comes to personal space.
i generally have to stay away from weaving through large crowds so i spend most of my time cooped up in a corner where i know i won't be at risk of being near anyone who might be sick or could bump into my metaport. i also have to tell people that they need to talk a distance from me because i have a weak immune system and cannot afford to catch their germs and get sick. at that point, i usually have to spill the beans that i have cancer and that i'm not a hypochondriac in order to not make people feel awkward. people seem to be more understanding when i'm just bluntly up front.
my metaport is coming out next week so hopefully some of these weird space issues can be resolved. bah...ok...i think i'm writing too much so i'll stop right here.
i've been experiencing strange sharp and stabbing pains in my metaport area and just wanted to make sure i didn't have an infection or something. it turns out i might have busted one of the sutures from the surgery and my doc told me that i just need to wait the pain out. it doesn't hurt so bad now, but i'm still afraid of moving my left arm the wrong way which is what caused the pain the first place.
i also saw my radiation oncologist at 1pm so they could once again take films of my chest before they start radiation on me next week. it's a pretty embarrassing procedure which makes me believe that radiation will be too. basically i lie down flat on my back with my arms raised flat backwards and my hospital gown opened from the waist up with my bare chest exposed. it makes me feel really vulnerable and slightly uncomfortable especially when there is a male technician around. i realized though this is what women with breast cancer must go through as well. at least i'll only have to be in that weird position for 15 minutes long compared to sitting in a chair for 5 hours getting chemo.
so the second part of my story begins with me trying to enjoy myself a little before i'm once again knocked out by radiation. i'm staying in brooklyn just for the weekend cause queens is making me seriuosly depressed. i went out to the winkel and balktick's cotillion event at the glasslands which was pretty friggin awesome. it was my first time at the space and i really enjoyed the setup. i met some really awesome people too (finally! i've been super socially awkward lately, but slowly getting over it). but when meeting knew people there always comes a lot of issues especially when it comes to personal space.
i generally have to stay away from weaving through large crowds so i spend most of my time cooped up in a corner where i know i won't be at risk of being near anyone who might be sick or could bump into my metaport. i also have to tell people that they need to talk a distance from me because i have a weak immune system and cannot afford to catch their germs and get sick. at that point, i usually have to spill the beans that i have cancer and that i'm not a hypochondriac in order to not make people feel awkward. people seem to be more understanding when i'm just bluntly up front.
my metaport is coming out next week so hopefully some of these weird space issues can be resolved. bah...ok...i think i'm writing too much so i'll stop right here.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Posts
