the beginning

here is my day, short and sweet - it sucked. today is a down day...it happens.

but here it is, like i promised, the beginning of my story about cancer.

note to self
Saturday, August 16, 2008 at 10:34am

this note is not really to myself. it is more like a note to all of those who might be wondering what the hell has happened to me.

it was only 2 weeks ago that i had realized that the physical and mental decline that i have been experiencing in the past 2 1/2 months was a little more serious than i had thought. since this realization, i've seen my doctor 3 times in the past 2 weeks, landed myself in the ER twice, and have a list of specialists i need to see. i have taken so many blood tests that i feel that my anemia is almost being caused by so much blood loss, but even after test after test, doctors still have not received any conclusive results.

what is wrong with me? i don't know. my symptoms keep on growing and the extent as to how long i have felt like this is puzzling my doctors. i'm not contagious. whatever i have is solely in me.

to all those that i've tried to make plans with to hang out, i apologize for constantly having to cancel. there are times when i feel fine and think that i will make it, only to realize that after walking half a block i am already feeling out of breathe and dizzy. i miss everyone and wish that i could see you all again soon.